What a cool dude.
Bucky = Stitch
Steve = Lilo
Famiy means no-one gets left behind - or forgotten.
Welcome one and all to the Brodown. A competition that pits Russian Spy against Russian Spy against … dude with awesome wings, I forget what his military position is … in the quest to become CAPTAIN AMERICA’S BEST BRO.
The challengers are:
Natasha Romanoff a.k.a. Black Widow a.k.a A Crap Ton of other Aliases
Strengths: Sass. Girl Power. Probs reminds him of Peggy and shit. Could fucking kill her competitors in four seconds if we allowed that sort of thing.
History in Competition: Once stole the SATs together.
Special Skills: Finding a hair straightener literally anywhere.
Strategy: Get Steve laid.
Sam Wilson a.k.a. Falcon
Strengths: Will do anything Cap says. No, like, anything. Like at all.
Weaknesses: Will do anything Cap says. No, like, anything. Like at all.
History in Competition: Steve was on his left.
Special Skills: Owns a hair straightener even though his hair’s really short so you know he got game.
Strategy: Bond over losing a bro in war.
James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes a.k.a. The Winter Soldier
Strengths: Was the Bro Steve lost in war — take that! Really pretty eyes.
Weaknesses: Really bad at eyeliner. Wants to kill Captain America
History in Competition: Returning Champion (Runner up: Howard Stark … there wasn’t much of a fight)
Special Skills: Sometimes he remembers his own name and stuff.